im so drunk with asians
where?
always
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
