I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
