Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
