What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
