the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
