I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
