I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
