So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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