shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
