Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
