What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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