I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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