The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
