Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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