i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
