these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
