I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
