I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
handjob tips. give me some.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
