Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
that's an acceptable place to lick
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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