he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
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You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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