people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
