i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
