sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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