If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
