I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
