Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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