We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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