i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Come see our sink grown plant.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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