Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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