i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
