I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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