I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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