Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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