McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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