i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
