I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
