I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
