We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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