woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
