i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
