I want to have your abortion
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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