if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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