i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
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he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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