just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
