Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize