You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
