She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Say something about gay babies.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
