Porn is love you can see.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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