hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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