So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
