She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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