So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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