All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
