The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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