Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
