hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
