I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
what day is it and did you see me today?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
