Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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