Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize