Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
