I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
