I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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