Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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