Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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