new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
