It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
