im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
