i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
